Gemma @ 'Actually, We’re F**ked' - Bitch slap that darkness

What’s it about?

Two New York City millennial couples meet every week to discuss all the ways the world is going to hell in a handbasket. Until one evening when, well… shit gets dramatic.

My experience.

When Molly and Rachel met in college, the two were instantly best friends. The moment Molly saw Rachel, she knew she was her soul sister. She even made Rachel the maid of honor at her wedding. After Molly and Rachel both got married, they made a point of getting together every week with their husbands, Frank and Nick, in tow to order in food and drunkenly try to solve all of the world’s problems.

Because the world is fucked, let’s face it, and… shit, seeing as we are a part of this world, it stands to reason that actually, we’re fucked, too. But it’s an easy and welcome escape from this reality to pig out with friends on a weekly basis and momentarily erase our collective worries, if only for an evening. This was how Molly, Rachel, Frank and Nick were handling things. That is, until someone made an announcement so life-altering, it was impossible for the couples to go back to the way things were.

The stage was set to resemble a luxury Manhattan one-bedroom apartment. On a screen mounted on one of the walls was footage of Manhattan that was quickly replaced with the words, “Look it up.”

Some things the couples looked up:

  • The population of India = over 1.3 billion (Frank had guessed 2 billion)

  • The percentage of men in America who have committed murders = over 80% (way higher than Frank had guessed)

The two couples were happily eating in the living room and discussing a variety of topics, including religion, parenting, politics, and nature vs. nurture. Then Rachel let slip the fact that she was pregnant, shocking both Frank and Molly. But the real reason this information was so monumental was because Nick knew something that Rachel didn’t. Something which called her pregnancy into serious question.

Some important information about Rachel:

  • She was very career driven. Her father owned a law firm and Rachel, a lawyer herself, hoped to make partner one day.

  • Her father disapproved of Nick.

  • She had a very difficult relationship with her mother.

  • She felt ignored by her husband, Nick, and jealous of the attention he gave to Molly.

Some important information about Nick:

  • Nick was a middle school teacher.

  • He was diagnosed with testicular cancer at age 19. He had his sperm frozen, and his testicles removed and replaced with silicone prosthetics filled with gel to make them appear soft and realist.

So… taking those facts into account, it was clear that while Rachel might have been pregnant, there was no way Nick was the father because he was infertile. Therefore, she had to have slept with somebody else while married to Nick.


Some important information about Molly:

  • She was ditzy and forgetful, often losing items like her phone and purse.

  • She was a Wiccan.

  • She was an interior designer, specializing in bathrooms.

  • Molly hungered for a baby, but struggled with infertility.

Some important information about Frank:

  • Frank was a registered Independent, although he held rather conservative beliefs.

  • He opposed abortion and would have a hard time accepting a gay son, while he could tolerate a lesbian daughter.

  • Frank worked in virtual reality.

  • He had a thing for Rachel.

The tea:


One night, after consuming a lot of mojitos, when Rachel was feeling lonely and neglected by Nick, and her jealousy over Molly had kicked into high gear, she and Frank slept together in a sailboat in the Hamptons.

And, if you do the math, since Nick had been infertile for the whole time he had known Rachel, and if Rachel had only slept with Nick and Frank during this entire period of time (which was true), Nick could not be the father of her baby. Frank had to be.


I could never forgive infidelity, especially not if it resulted in a pregnancy. But both couples were being surprisingly understanding, all things considered. 

The tea was spilled, and both couples knew each other’s dirty secrets. But despite all the anger, upset and darkness, Molly spread pure positive truth: 

In a world that’s fucked, love is the only thing that matters. And if you put enough light into the world, you should be able to bitch slap that darkness.

See it:


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