POST: 'Shadowlands' - really struck my ass hard

What it's about.

In spite of literally every possible thing in his way, C.S. Lewis (of Narnia fame), managed to find love too. 

My experience.

Dawg, dawg? Fair warning, this is a sad ride I'm boutta take you down. 

Yo, dawg, I physically do not know how many times I can keep doing this. I've got a personal rule when it comes to seeing shows, a bit of codex I choose to live by. I never read about the show I wanna see. I like being surprised in the theater. I like the idea of never getting what I expected. It adds to my experience, I'm never sat there saying to myself "oh, I know what happens next." At best, I'll read a simple summary, much like the What's It About? you see above. After that, I'm running solo. 

That being said, I think I am cursed. Unless I actively take the time to find a show that is comedy, I find shows that actively do the following: 

  1. Start Funny
  2. Remain Funny long enough to trick me into thinking it's a comedy
  3. Have the dramatic twist that really touches on my personal background
  4. Get Sad
  5. Make Me Sad
  6. R E G R E T 

The Oregon TrailFredInanimate, and now Shadowlands. And, to clarify, I would never give up the experiences I've had at this little list. But good lord, I don't know how many times I can do this. Theater challenges me, especially the recent theater that I've had the honor to bear witness to. 

I loved Shadowlands. The dry humor that filled the first act was entirely my kind of show. And the second act dragged me down a rabbit-hole called Cancer, again. Usually, with the shows I've gotten to see, they bring me back to my relationships with my grandparents. I've talked about them enough on this blog, on several pieces already. And, coming to this show, I was riding the wave of a recently ended depressive episode.  Perhaps I have an uncanny ability for picking shows about depression and cancer, maybe that's my X-Men power. 

I found myself reminded of my aunt this time around. I lost her a few years after my grandparents, she basically became a surrogate guardian for me once they were gone. She got sick not too long after them, but she stuck around a while. I'd visit her once a week and we would have these hours-long talks about anything. In particular, Shadowlands brought to mind a lot of stuff from the tail-end of my time with her. 

Much like Joy in the play, I also remember these particular days when my aunt was in such pain. She wanted to just do things she could normally do, but just could not muster the force or energy to do so. And then, again like Joy, there were these moments where she was strong, and moving, and could just do anything. Those days it seemed like she was getting better. 

And again, like Joy, one day she just wasn't here. 

Though, the scene that pushed me over, really struck my ass hard, was the declarations from Jack about not remembering her face, or voice, or anything about her after being away. I feel bad sometimes that I don't think I remember their voices correctly, and I can't really get those voices to make sure.

I suppose it speaks to something about theater being able to bring out the most raw emotions from people. I don't really know about all that. Theater does, however, remind me how much I miss people sometimes. 

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