POST: The Eight: Reindeer Monologues. How hard is it to get to the theatre?

You know when you are looking for something and then you see this big sign that guides you there. Well... the complete opposite happened for this play. I was huffing and puffing in the cold with a sore throat looking for some theater somewhere in this city of lights, when a dim light (nothing more than a mere light fading off a Christmas tree) barely helped me find my way. This search was not the only challenge that night, there were challenges at every corner.

Challenge # 1- Avoid the People or they won`t you.

I know this sounds strange from a New Yorker, but it was freaking busy. I have been to locations in Manhattan hundred times of times and I have never complained about the busy streets. There was this one woman that knocked into my girlfriend and my girlfriend said excuse me in her sassy tone. Then this lady grabbed my girlfriend's arm and said "get a grip on life child" (in a deep menacing voice). This scarred me for the rest of the night.

Challenge # 2-Did I mention it was cold?

It was really cold and no state-of-the-art jacket could prepare you for this icy death. 

Challenge # 3-Where am I? Who am I? To be or not to be or sort of to be and being there while you be who you are saying or claiming to be? (WTF???)

I was so lost... and confused.... and tired..... Probably because I had been up for 39 hours. Long story...

Challenge #4-Attack of the Comedians!?!

You know those guys who stand out in Times Square and try to sell you tickets at a "ridiculously" low price to a comedy club. Just as we reach the building we believed to be the theater, the comedians swarmed in on us.

Challenge #5-What type of theater is this?

I was so confused on where to go. I walked into the building and saw two guys seated across from one another.  There was a guy at the reception desk right next to the elevator and a guy sitting on a radiator telling people how to go to the comedy club. The radiator guy kept on repeating "Are you here for the comedy club?" and we walked away to show him we were not. The reception guy just stared at us and said "Where you going?" I told him the name of the show and he said "Fifth floor and don`t make any stops," whatever that meant.

Challenge #6-99-Everything Else

  • The seats for the waiting room were in all different colors and sizes. This annoyed me.
  • The bathroom was just a bathroom (don`t ask me what that means).
  • The theater was a room with 20 fold up seats and the curtain was made out of regular home curtains.
  • It was in a standard size room that looked so... amateur, it wasn't funny.
  • Do you really want to hear more?

Challenge #100-I didn't expect it to be any good.

I had such low expectations for this play and did not want to be there... I was so mad nothing could possibly make it even presentable in my eyes.

Okay let me get back to the show, the above was just me letting out my frustration and mood of that night.

You will be surprised that I thoroughly enjoyed this play and couldn't wait to tell you all about it.  The play was about Santa sexual abusing his reindeer and that there was a trial to take place soon. Before you label Santa as a practitioner in bestiality, the reindeer were played by male and female actors. But in the play I was not sure if the reindeer were humans or animals so.... I was somewhat confused, although its theater so who really knows. 

It starts off with the every reindeer coming and giving their own story. After each one is done (with their multiple diverse personalities), they freeze frame in a line until the last reindeer came out. I am not going to tell you which reindeer get raped (unless you comment and force me). I will give you a hint though, not all of the are male and Santa does not have a gender preference.

$10 Tickets

The Eight: Reindeer Monologues @ Times Square Arts Center, thru Dec. 13